What makes a woman and who decides?

Originally Posted on September 8, 2001 by Sara Troy

When you look through the ages at style, today’s style can be very depressing. Where did the entire feminine voluptuous woman go?

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I am very tired of (happy) designers who have taken our femininity away from us by making us look like boys in girl’s clothes. Skin and bone duff not maketh a woman, we are meant to have shape. 

Do you remember ladies, when we were growing up, how we could not wait for a bust or some shapely curves that marked us as woman? Now all I see representing us are flat chested boy’s waist, no hips, and gawky legs.

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The big (generally fat) bosses at the movie and T.V studios are dictating that women in the media’s eye should all be skinny with boyish bodies, and the magazines with all they’re airbrushing makes all look so unreal.

Why do women out there buy into this crap????????? Why are you letting some anorexic or homosexual person (no I am not homophobic) you decide whether you are beautiful or not??????? Why are you chiseling your bodies to look like men?? Why is a robust woman considered fat????

Who decides this, THEM OR YOU? You decide your sex appeal you decide if you feel sexy if you feel womanly, not them. If you are a little on the heavy side do what you have to do for your health, a robust woman can and does look fabulous in the right clothes and with the right attitude.

Sex appeal is all an attitude, our attitude. When we walk into a room, the impression we want to make is that we are women can you make us roar? We can feel very sensual without a man (no we are not lesbians unless we are meant to be) We are comfortable in our own skin and sensuality and do not need to be based around sex. Being a woman is about how we feel about ourselves. Do we turn ourselves on? Do we feel the empowerment of being a woman? Do we relish it? Or do we let others decide if we are sexy or womanly enough for them?

Do they know? People, I mean what is sexy? When you have got undernourished girls out there bring airbrushed on magazines, and actresses starving themselves to look like scarecrows, do men know what a real woman looks like? they rarely see one. They have been told that anyone over a size 3 is large and unsightly. Can you blame the male species from being confused?

I know that not all women are the same, and that there are many beautiful women that are tiny naturally, and they have sex appeal. Large woman can look drop dead gorgeous too. Being a woman has nothing to with size,

NOTHING. It is to do with our own self-value, and not the values that are put upon us by society who is dictated to by the fashion industry and the entertainment business.

Gentleman, please do not look at us as a “show and tell” item. If you can bed us them you can be proud to be seen with us out in public. If you obsess over a woman’s weight, then you need to question why that is, because that is your hang up not theirs. If you think that all women should look like the current actress then you are dull and boring.

Life is a variety of things and of people, we are all made very differently, and in our own uniqueness we all have something to give that certain someone, something special, our compassion and our sensual love.

We all like a pretty package that is why I am in the business of esteem building. We all want to look our best, but with the designers designing for their own image, anyone over-size 0 has no chance to dress sexy and alluring because the real choice of clothing to wear. All the shops go up to size (tiny) 14 and after that good luck in finding any thing snazzy or sexy, there is only frumpy, which makes us grumpy (sorry could not resist).

I invite all designers in the Vancouver British Columbia Canada and around the world, to design clothing for the millions of beautiful sensual woman here who would love to have something to wear. I also invite all designers elsewhere in the world to get real, and start designing real clothes for all shape and sizes of women, You must also insist that the magazines show them. Get real actresses to wear them and give some hope to women and young girls all over the world, that shapely or heavy is not BAD, but womanly. It has been that way for eternity.

Women rebel, Write to the media mongrels, and insist that they stop putting the abnormal pressure on a woman, to lose weight just to fit into their image. Weight lose is a serious thing, and must be done wisely it is also a multi billion dollar industry, so they feed your insecurity to make them rich.

Fitness is good, but dieting to death just to fit into an image your body type is not designed for, is deadly and soul-destroying. Eat wisely, exercise wisely, and get rid of the heavy weight in your heart, and the negative image you have of yourself. Because you don’t deserve it. Do not judge your self nor allow anyone else judge you. Aspire to grow in your spirit, in your attitude to life and in your love of your self just the way you are.

Give me time, I will find true designers that really know how to design for us womanly women, both big and small. The Tyra Banks, show, stands for the real woman, as does her America’s next top model, a plus size (real women size) model just won this year.

Men I know that you are under some pressure to look great too, with six-pack abs and bronzed bodies constantly thrown in your faces. Understand this, we love a guy who looks after himself, clean, healthy, not too heavy. But most of all we want an understanding non-judgmental and loving honest man. It is all about an attitude towards life, women, children, and our fellow-man.

I know that there will be some people out there who will disagree with me OR AGREE WITH ME. Please do write back, and tell me your opinion, as I was in the business of fashion I would love to know other people’s side of it.

Sensuality with your own style and confidence in your self.

First written 2001 updated 2008.

Now  November 2022                          

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